Well heavens Betsy and goodness knows
My, I can see right through your clothes
I see it all, far and wide
The front, the back and the other side
Cover it up but you can't hide
These things I see can't be denied

I put these glasses on my nose
And everything becomes exposed
You ask me "What's inside a girl?"
Beneath the ribbons, bows and curls
Underneath the perfume and the pearls
With these things on the truth unfurls

Chorus:
Well you got somethin' I gotta see
But you keep it from my sight
You keep it so secluded and wrapped up so tight
I bought some X-ray glasses from a comic book
Now whether you like it or you don't
I'm gonna have a look

It used to be a mystery
Confused by things I couldn't see
But now the world's a different place
With these x-ray glasses on my face
With these things on I will discover
All the things you try to cover

(Chorus)

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Well baby's got something in the seat of her pants
She flips it on and it makes her dance
She goes "ooooooh weeeeeeee" all around the floor
Yeah she's my buzzbomb baby
She goes til there ain't no more

She's my buzzbomb baby - buzzbomb baby
Buzzbomb baby - buzz bomb
She goes "ooooooh weeeeeeee" all around the floor
She bought every last battery down at the battery store
(She's ever ready Eddie)

She turned it on and the switch got broken
She didn't stop dancin' till her shoes were smokin'
She went "ooooooh weeeeeeee" all around the floor
she's my buzzbomb baby
She goes like there ain't no more

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Well we're goin' on down to the cattle wash
Gonna flop around in the cattle froth
On the truck from off the train
That cattle stench's gonna rot your brain

Chorus:
Well round 'em up and hose 'em down
And soap behind their ears
There's nothin' that turns me on more
Than a car wash full of steers

We're goin' on down to the cattle wash
We're shootin' up in the cattle froth
Wash and rinse and wax and dry
That cattle stench's gonna burn your eye

(Chorus)

We're goin' on down to the cattle wash
We're gonna die in the cattle froth
Wash and rinse and wax and dry
That cattle stench's gonna make you die

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Well, I'm all screwed up
Baby I'm a mess
I don't remember your name but baby, I can guess
Oh baby, have mercy on me
I've been drinkin' cough syrup baby since half past three

I took a little drink
Just to stop my hack
I took one more then I never went back
Oh darlin' I hate to give you the news
My mind's in a bind I got those codeine cough syrup blues

I drink it by the tablespoon
I drink it by the case
I take cough syrup and I pour it in my my face
Oh doctor, I need it more than food
I tilt back the bottle and baby it feels so good

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Well look up on the hill, man what do I see?
A bunch of creepy dead folk comin' after me
They're after my brains, maybe my feet
I turned to my baby said, "hey darlin' ain't this neat?"

Chorus:
Run to the house, run to the mall
Run to your car, don't trip and fall
They're after you, there's nothin' you can do
The creepy dead folk

A few days later we were back at the house
The doors are boarded up, we're being quiet as a mouse
They're bangin on the windows, dancin' on the rug
Doin' the stumble, the limp and the jitterbug

(Chorus)

Everything got crazy they were starting to move
When Elvis, Gene and Buddy all got in on the groove
Elvis sang a song, Gene did too
Buddy got on stage and he sang Peggy Sue

(Chorus)

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Well I know a place where the dead kids go
To dig the all-night all-dead rock and roll show
They're twistin' and turnin' and thrashin' around
All the way back to their holes in the ground
Come dig the sound that's going 'round
Down down down down down

All the zombie cats are cuttin' out on the floor
And the undead girls keep yellin', "more more more!"
The dusty air is filled with their screams and moans
And the dance floor is littered with their skeleton bones
(Watch your step, Chet)
Dig the sound from the underground
C'mon down down down down down

I know a place where the dead kids go
To dig the all-night all-dead rock and roll show
There's only one thing to do that's get on the floor
Shirt and shoes required, leave your soul at the door
Come dig the sound from way on down
Let's go down down down

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Well I'm going to the graveyard, gonna dig me up a grave
This excavation's for the conversation that I crave
But the undead ain't got much to say
They do better things instead
No time to think, no time to blink
Let's drink with the living dead

It's hard to watch them stumble in their funeral attire
They drink like monks, they stink like skunks
They sing like a drunken choir
But don't you turn and run, like the others that just fled
It's a zombie bash, let's all get trashed
Let's drink with the living dead

Chorus:
Oh let's drink with the living dead
Don't think (please don't)
Do a double back flip and land on your head
It's a bubblin' brew, it's greenish-blue
Best served in a human head
Let's drink... with the living dead

This stuff is made from Cyanide and buddy that's the truth
Formaldehyde for flavor with some bone dry vermouth
Like Jackie, Jack, and Bobby, and their drunken brother Ted
Knew he couldn't get far so he splashed his car
Now he drinks with the living dead

Chorus:
Let's drink with the living dead
Don't think
It'll pop your eyeballs out of your head
It's from Peru, it'll cure the flu
It'll give bald tires tread
So lay a patch then it's down the hatch
Let's drink with the living dead

Chorus:
Yeah let's drink with the living dead
Don't think (no no no)
Do a double back flip and land on your head
It's a bubblin' brew, it's potent too
It'll make you wet your bed
So let's drink... with the living dead
Yeah drink... with the living dead
Yeah drink...

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Well things look bad
But they could be worse
Hell, I ain't sad
'Cause there's still room for rockin'
In the back of the hearse

Chorus:
Let's rock!
Rockin' in the back of the hearse
Let's rock!
Rockin' in the back of the hearse

Well I thought I was cool
I was just depraved
The preacher man said I'd never be saved
I never learned nothin' from mistakes I made
Rockin' my way towards an early grave

Now just because you're dead
Don't mean you can't git gone
C'mon lose your head
And keep on rockin' six feet under the lawn

Chorus:
Let's rock... six feet under the lawn
Let's rock... six feet under the lawn

Well they buried me in my hot rod car
With my amp, my cord, and this old guitar
Down here in my tuck n' roll cave
Rockin' around in my early grave

You can race with fate
But you'll never win
Oh, life is great
BUt when your clock stops tickin'
That's when fun begins

(Chorus)

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Well look up in the sky, oh my!
It's a great big evil floating eye
It winked at me when I walked passed
So I winked back then I took off fast

It was a great big evil floatin eye
Just boppin' down the boulevard
Satan's bloodshot ruby red
It stole my credit card

The gigantic demonic occulus
It took me by suprise
It hovered down in front of me
Then it stared into my eyes

Well I was led forward without a care
I heard an evil whisper say' "take a dare"
To temptation I was exposed
'Cause evil's what that eye proposed

Evil hellish floatin things
They float right there hey look! No strings!
Plucked right out of Satan's socket
We're all goin' to Hell, so Hell let's rock it!

I was under the influence of Satan's eye
It said you're gonna cheat you're gonna lie
You can have any thing your heart desires
But your soul is mine when it retires

That evil hellish floating shpere
Delivered those soul-stealing leers
It'll whisper evil in your ears
And fill your head with bad idears

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For the Love of Gun Clubs

If I only had a dollar for every song I sung
I'd go down to the pawn shop and I'd buy a great big gun
I'd go down to the pawn shop and I'd buy a great big gun
And I'd kill every low down son of a bitch
That ever done me wrong

If I only had a dollar for every song I sung
I'd buy myself a bone yard and I'd bury every one
I'd bury every last one Lord, I'd bury every one
I'd bury every slack jawed motherfucker
That ever done me wrong

But I ain't got no graveyard and I ain't got no gun
So I'll be extra super nice and smile at everyone
You folks keep paying money to hear us play these songs
And I'll kill every low down son of a bitch
That ever done me wrong

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Well gather 'round and settle down
And listen to my tale
In the end you'll see
Why I'm happier each day
I smoke my cares away
I'm livin' in the penitentiary

Chorus:
I get three meals a day
I never have to pay
This place is perfect for me
I'll be here til I'm grey
But I'm happier this way
I'm livin' in the penitentiary

I had a knife I had a wife
They both were big and mean
One was sharp and one was dull
After a fight on a Saturday night
I sliced her up and smeared her on the wall

Chorus:
I get three meals a day
I never have to pay
Yeah this place is perfect for me
I'll be here in this place until my dying days
I'm rockin' in the penitentary

I know folks on the inside
They keep trying for appeals
But this place is perfect for me
I'm in for life, you see
That's why I'm fancy-free
I'm livin' in the penitentiary

Chorus:
I get three meals a day
I never have to pay
This place is perfect for me
I'll be here til I'm grey
I'm happier this way
I'm livin' in the penitentiary
Oh Lord I'm dyin' in this penitentiary

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Well the old man never liked to work
The very thought of it drove him berzerk
He said the workin' man ain't nothin' but a fool
He said he'd never punch the clock
He'd punch his boss and then he'd walk
He'd be damned before he'd ever lift a tool

So with the help from some of his veteran friends
He sent some letters to some Congressmen
He'd check our box everyday for a reply
Well first they sent a government letter
Then the things they sent started gettin' better
And now you can see we're livin' far and wide

Chorus:
'Cause we got government issue bathroom tissue
Five pound blocks of cheese and powdered milk piled in the hall
U.S. Army surplus jeeps, big bags of beans, donated sheep
And so many God-damned food stamps that they're piled up wall to wall
(Yeah we got it all...y'all)

So if you're the type that don't like to work
Wanna sit around your house like a lazy jerk
Then listen real careful to my daddy's plan
Yeah come up with a story real pathetic
And write it down real poetic
Then send it to everybody in Congress, man

Chorus:
They'll give you government issue bathroom tissue
Five pound blocks of cheese and powdered milk piled in the hall
U.S. Army surplus jeeps, big bags of beans, donated sheep
And so many God-damned food stamps that they're piled up wall to wall

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I got a jet black Cadillac she's built for speed
A hot rod hearse, she's all I need
We roll downtown on a Saturday night
And go drag racin' from light to light
With the radio blastin' and some baby in back
Me and my jet black Cadillac

Up the boulevard, down the alley
We rolled all around this dust bowl valley
Black with flames hot potater
With a 501 we'll see you later
Gonna take your money from you Jack
Me and my jet black Cadillac

Yeah she's my jet black Cadillac
Jet black Cadillac
Long and low, dark and black
She's my jet black Cadillac
We're leavin' town ain't comin' back
Me and my jet black Cadillac

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Kick a hippy in the head!
Kick a hippy in the head!
Kick a hippy in the head!
Kick a hippy in the head!

I'm gonna go out tonight and meet a hippy goil
I'm gonna polish my boots with her patchouli oil
I'll kick a hippy in the head
I'll kick a hippy in the head

Stab a hippy in the face with a screwdriver
Drop him on his head... pile driver!
Kick a hippy in the head!
Kick a hippy in the head!

C'mon let's kick a hippy in the head
Let's go kick a hippy in the head
Kick a hippy in the head
Give him the boot... right in the head

(Peace)

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Well I went up to Heaven
And then I came right back
'Cause there ain't nothin' to do up there
And buddy that's a fact
'Cept float amongst the clouds
And eat ambrosia fruits
And listen to the angels
Tootin' on their fruity flutes

Well the preacher liked his vodka
With a touch of sweet vermouth
He'd tell me 'bout how wrong I was
But I'll be damned if that's the truth
'Cause I tell you up in Heaven
They got no smokey bars
They got no drums, no slappin' bass
They got no loud guitars

Let's go to Hell! So we can rock and roll
Let's go to Hell! Let's go slide down Satan's pole
Let's go to Hell! Drop into that fiery hole
'Cause down in Hell they listen to that God damned music
Rock and roll

People always ask me
Why I am the way I am
Why I never got nothin' nice to say
About my fellow man
I never was a Boy Scout
Or helped no lady cross the street
I gotta do the things I do
To make my afterlife complete

I'm going to Hell! Don't worry when I'm dead
I'm going to Hell! I'll be better off instead
I'm going to Hell! Gonna auction off my soul
'Cause down in Hell they listen to that God damned music
Rock and Roll

Oh Hell, I'm going to Hell! Don't wonder when I die
I'm going to Hell! I'm gonna roast I'm gonna fry
I'm going to Hell! I'll do that ol' Satanic stroll
'Cause down in Hell they rock to that God damned music
Rock and roll

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Well the other night I went out swimmin'
I ran into a bunch of evil voodoo women
Slim and trim and grinnin' and sinnin'
Crazy life sucking voodoo women

Well voodoo women they're everywhere
Got short cut dresses on up to there
Fly their broomsticks through the air
They'll drain you dry but you won't care

I drink a gin and tonic with a twist of lemon
Water it down with poisonous venom
Nothin' else in the world'll get me grinnin'
But crazy life suckin voodoo women

Yeah voodoo women from down below
Where the Devil dances and the hellfires glow
They mix me up so that I don't know
... I just don't know

Well voodoo women from desert dunes
They'll lure you in with their cheap perfumes
They'll drag you down to Hell - oh heck!
They'll hold you down and suck your neck

Voodoo women from outer space
They're gonna be the end of the human race
Deceivin' smiles all over their face
They'll lead man down to his disgrace

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Well down in the lab that's where you'll find him
With his brand new creature on the slab behind him
He's got things that bubble and things that spark
And a great big man-eating robot shark
(c'mon chump...lemme see you chomp)

He spent his life workin' on his dreams
Monsters, creatures, laser beams
The villagers all think he's bad
But they'll come to find out he's raving mad

Chorus:
He's mad at you, he's mad at me
He's mad at all society
When he's done he'll make you see
He's just as bad as you and me
He ain't bad
He's mad

Meanwhile, back at the lab...

The creature's gone it's run amuck
He burnt down the church!
He wrecked my truck!
They pick up pitchforks, guns and hoes
And down to the science-lab they goes

They storm the lab they burn it down
They chase the creature through the town
They throw the scientist in jail
And all night long you could hear him wail

He's mad at you, he's mad at me
He's mad at everybody that he sees
But when he's through he'll make you see
He's just as bad as you and me
He ain't bad... with a B
He's mad... yeah he's M A D

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Well the white trash fight all through the night
Deep in the heart of Texas
The trailer park is nice and dark
Deep in the Heart of Texas

Dad drinks his brew and he spits his chew
Deep in the heart of Texas
The TV blares, but no one cares
Deep in the heart of Texas

Mom's got two black eyes, Daddy told her twice
Deep in the heart of Texas
Don't like your life? You can beat your wife
Deep in the heart of Texas

Now look at dad run when the police come
Deep in the heart of Texas
THe children wail, daddy can't make bail
Deep in the heart of Texas

The white trash fight all through the night
Way down (right here) deep in the heart of Texas

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Well the steady click click clickin' of the Geiger counter
And your lead skin suit with all the perfume and powder
The cats started rockin' when the band played louder
So I grabbed your arm and said, "It's never or now dear!"

Chorus:
Let's rock! The radiation rock
Keep jumpin' up and down to the atomic clock
Aw don't you get tired 'cause it never stops
Let's all glow crazy do the radiation rock

Like the needle on the meter you gotta wiggle just a little
Bathe in the radiation while you're gyrating your middle
Yeah hop across the floor like a horned-toad on a griddle
The steps to this here mambo are a scientific riddle

Chorus:
Let's rock! The radiation rock
Keep jumpin' up and down on the atomic clock
Lokk at Marie Curie dance with Mr. Spock
They'll all go crazy doin' the radiation rock

Chorus:
Yeah let's rock! The radiation rock
Keep goin' goin' goin' don't you ever stop
The doctor said it's deadly but I think that's a crock
Let's all go crazy do the radiation rock

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Well in the darkest jungles and down in the swamp
The natives gather 'round and they begin to romp
They stamp their hands and they stomp their feet
And they dance in a trance to the voodoo beat...

With all the dancin' they work up a sweat
And a very unhealthy appetet
Even monkeys up in the trees above
Well they just can't stop doin' the bop they love

Well Big Chief call you "Guest of Honor"
He invites you into his native sauna
C'mon buddy, don't be dud
Now slide into those steamin' suds

A pinch of this, a dash of that
Some monkey blood, a little porker fat
Carrots, Parrots, Ferrets too
All get tossed in the tub with you

Well native girls go coochie coochie coo
They do those things native girls just do
The water's so hot it almost boils
Then they rub you down with spices and oils

And by the time the dance is through
The tub is drained and so are you
There's nothing left for them to do
But sit right down and eat stew... of you

Stew of you
Why? Because you taste so good
Oh
You.

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Well way down in old Mexico
That's where all the gringos go
Down in Tijuana town, they come to lay their money down
And see the cats fly through the air
Ole!

The gringos come from near and far
They come by bus, they come by care
They all head for the secret street
'Cause that's where all the cat-tossers meet
To see the cats fly through the air
Ole!

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Well I met a girl the other night
Man, she was mighty cute
All dressed up in leather
with those kinky cowboy boots
She said, "You sure look stupid
In that flame-retarded suit"
I said, "I got to wear it baby
Because I'm too hot to hoot"

Chorus:
I'm too hot to hoot, I'm too hot to hoot
I'm a fireball daddy from my hat down to my boots
Too hot to hoot, I'm too hot to hoot
Better get some water because I'm to hot to hoot

I'm a red hot chili pepper when I'm in my leopard suit
I'm headed right down to the bank to rip off all my loot
If you'd like a hunk of burnin' love then play it on my flute
But don't blame me for blistered lips 'cause I'm too hot to hoot

Chorus:
Too hot to hoot, I'm too hot to hoot
I'm the ragin' jalapeno in the hall of spicy fruit
Too hot to hoot, I'm too hot to hoot
Go fetch me some agua darlin'
I'm too hot to hoot

Chorus:
Too hot to hoot, I'm too hot to hoot
I'm the Biblin' burnin' bush from leaves down to my root
Too hot to hoot, I'm too hot to hoot
So hose me down darlin' 'cause I'm too hot to hoot

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Well Holly's got a dolly with pins stuck in it's head
And Dolly got a horseshoe at the foot of her bed
Grandma reads the future from giblets on the wall
And Grampa's got a mojo hand, I'll tell you that ain't all
It's voo doo doo
It's voo doo doo

Chorus:
It's everything you see, it's everywhere you look
From A on down to Z, baby I could write a book
It's voo doo doo
It's voo doo doo

Ol' Bobby bought a Oija Board from a toy store in the mall
And Dennis gets his future from a Gypsy with a ball
Brandy worships Satan, Alladin rubbed a lamp
I tell you too much voo doo doo will give your style a cramp
It's voo doo doo
It's voo doo doo

Arlo's got a rabbit's foot a-hangin' from a chain
Mark has got a little tiny piece of Hitler's brain
Vanessa flushed a quart of blood and clogged up her drain
I tell you all this voo doo doo is driving me insane
It's voo doo doo
It's voo doo doo

Chorus:
Be careful where you stand, be careful where you sit
Be careful where you step my friend 'cause you might step in it
It's voo doo doo
It's voo doo doo

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Well was it something that she ate
Or something she caught from a pet
Or could it be caused by something
That they ain't discovered yet

Before they turn the lights out
Before we end this show
Before you people all go home
There's something I gotta know

It's something that's been puzzling me
A riddle for the ages
You'll find it in the comic books
And in truck-stop novels' pages

It all started out in grade school
Before she was full grown
Talkin' to those other girls
For hours on the phone

But now she's all grown up
She's got a new disguise
With high heels on those feet
And mascara on those eyes! Oh...

Chorus:
What makes a good girl go bad?
What makes them get all dressed up
In miniskirts of plaid
A little girl could catch a cold
The way that she was clad. Oh tell me
What makes a good girl go bad

Well some girls are nice
And some girls are mean
Some girls are dirty
And some girls are clean
Some girls are princesses
And some girls are queens
But there's something 'bout those girls
That are stuck there in-between

Chorus:
What makes a good girl go bad?
What makes them make all the men
Give up everything they have
Oh, they claim that they don't like it
But you know they're kinda glad.
So tell me what makes a good, little girl go so bad?

She's a bad little girl
She wasn't born that way
Yeah, something must've happened
That made her go astray
Now daddy's bought a shotgun
To keep the wolves at bay
But he's runnin' outta ammo
And they just won't go away! Oh...

Chorus:
What makes a good girl go bad?
What makes her do all the things
That make her parents mad
The Bible says is isn't right
To anger Mom and Dad. So tell me
What makes a good girl go bad?

She's a bad, bad, bad little girl
Yeah a bad, bad, bad little girl
Ain't nothin' better in the whole wide world
Than a bad, bad, bad little girl

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